a thick blanket of smoke surrounded me,
that came from inside my lungs?
the smoke enveloped my thoughts and shrouded my discernment    
it creeped around, its fingers beckoning me towards it.
it entered my lungs before i could say no, even though i had already said yes.  
why am i saying yes to so many poisonous things, and no to things that should matter
i wanted to do it, to prove myself; not  to him or her, but to myself.
if i don't act tough, that translates into vulnerability, and vulnerability is more dangerous than most risks taken
one more than her
a deeper hit
I guess I'm more competitive than I thought.
*but when do i draw the line