a harmless monster
they called him
he's beautiful
and no stranger to sin.

he fed upon my innocence
he said i was an angel
and that we were different:
he came straight from hell

his cigarette smoke, unfiltered
clung to my sweaters and my
mother would beat me when
I'd return after saying goodbye.

we'd get high on Saturdays
and I'd tell him about
my child hood, the happier days
and I loved him without a doubt.

the day he told me
he was leaving
I sat in my room and cried;
our love had no meaning.

he promised he would write
and I believed him though
I knew he only knew how to lie
but I kept my thoughts low.

and I still waved him off
and watched his boat until
it was a dot on the horizon
and two weeks later I took a pill.

I told him I wouldn't live
without him and I kept my word,
(I only wish he had, too)
his pen would have been mightier than the sword.

when the pills didn't **** me
I killed myself with my father's
ax and said to myself only
"thank god I'm not their only daughter."

(qtsp)