Klementine Applemeyer knows ballet
And she says Jesus Christ lives down her street
I don’t believe her but she promises me
That she played him in Monopoly
And he cheated as the banker

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to jump rope
And she says it’s like escaping snakes in a jungle
I don’t believe her but she promises me
She explored the Amazon at age five
And next year she’s going again

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to French-kiss
And she says her daddy’s friend taught her
I don’t believe her but she promises me
His hair is purple and his feet are red
And his breath tasted like onions

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to time travel
And she says she met Vincent Van Gogh
I don’t believe her but she promises me
She took his ear and it’s in her desk drawer
And it’s in a little pink box

Klementine Applemeyer knows about Mr. Henry
And she says he felt her ******* after math
I don’t believe her but she promises me
He wore three rings
And his nails were bitten

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to throw up
And she says it makes her feel better
I don’t believe her but she promises me
Her gag reflex is strong
And her ******* is even stronger

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to roll a blunt
And she says it’s easier than ***
I don’t believe her but when I ask her
If it was her daddy’s friend again
She gets quiet

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to be generous
And she gave me her bike and Van Gogh’s ear
I don’t believe her but she promises me
My birthday has come early
And the ear is Vincent’s

Klementine Applemeyer slit her wrists in the bathtub
And a man with purple hair and red shoes was at the funeral
I didn’t believe her even when she told me
But there was an ear in the box, her neighbor was named Jesus Christ,
She had seen the Amazon, and Mr. Henry’s nails were bitten