i. there are some mornings that i can't get out of bed. it's much safer underneath the covers, and even if my sheets aren't white like they are supposed to be they are the only things that still feel clean because every other inch of my room still tastes and smells and feels like you.
ii. it was 12:07 when i saw you again for the first time in months; you didn't know what to say, so i said it all for you by saying nothing; it was just enough for both of us.
iii. later i told you that we should talk, but when the time came, i couldn't find my words, so instead, i just decided to cling to you. you thought it was maybe because i was trying to tell you i missed you, or maybe i was leading you on- you were wrong on both accounts. i was just scared of letting you go because you make bad decisions when you're alone and i didn't want you to leave the room feeling cold.
iv. there are some nights that i can't get into bed. when i'm awake at least i can control the number of times you get into my head; but sleep scares me now because every time i close my eyes it's like you're still here and no matter how hard i pretend that your company is easy it's always unsettling- the honest truth is that ever since i let you go, i've watched you become a ghost.
hello, i don't know where this came and i'm scared to read this over because i feel like even though every bit of it is the honest truth these words seem like a stranger's.