Sitting in quiet contemplation staring at the ceiling.
Senses overcome by these overwhelming feelings.
Is something wrong? Is it not you but me?
Of course I’m the cause what else could it be?
Are you cheating like my ex who I left to be happy with you?
Is it something I said, ****, what the hell did I do?
Or is it all just in my head, because of all I just went through?

I love you my darling, though my brain won’t let it go.
If you want to leave I understand but I must know.
Something is wrong if not with you than with I.
I keep watching people I love pass me by.  
I can not let you go, I have fallen so hard and so fast.
I really hope that this finally a relationship that will last.
I can not hide forever and hope I get brave before I’m in your past.

I will love you forever much like a few that came before.
Picking up what few pieces of me are still on the floor.
I write this not for you to see, but to let out these wretched contemplations,
Writhing within my head twisting my thoughts with vile machinations.
They have always been here and have ruined so much.
Making me question myself and leaving me out of touch.
Making me lean hard against my most faithful crutch.