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Jul 2020
I am classed as transgender
Yet feel i am truegender
And for all of what it's worth
I was born with 21 digits, at my birth
So i spent 60 years, man back to childhood
But would release the inner female, whenever i could
Back in time, with no technology to play
When it was dangerous, even to be gay
So i donned an Afghan coat, and grew my hair long
Regularly indulged, in the occasional ****
Cheesecloth shirts, Petula oil, and beads
Met some lovely women, in which to sow seeds
Whilst hiding behind, my true woman self
Putting that behind, a discretely hidden shelf
There were no resources, to research my thoughts
Tried following instincts, remaining self-taught
In my search for answers, i slept with some men
But that wasn't for me, so didn't do it again
Felt like an alien, from a far of world
Carried on with life, to see what unfurled
When my second marriage, came to an end
The internet became an educator, and kind of friend
Led me to my doctor, for some simple advice
As could not live my life, living with lies
So my true life journey, began all afresh
Was not about my mind, just about the flesh
So i followed the route, proffered to me
Spoke to professionals, of ******-analysis, and psychiatry
They in unison agreed, i was doing the right thing
To adjusting my physical self, to match my mind, would let my heart sing
So at long last, my journey had begun
And in a few years, the process would be done
But then on 18th July, in twenty seventeen
Something dramatic happened, that was unforeseen
After forty years of smoking, and ****, and living in dread
Had a major heart attack, but for an emergency op, could of been dead
The skills of the surgeon, four stents were carefully placed
My hopes of transition, were quickly displaced
Just three weeks later, redundancy came my way
Liquidation of company i worked for, added to the dismay
But within a year, i was attending a gym
To build up my heart muscles, and remain being slim
And although my transition, was on indefinite hold
There was still a chance, so i was told
I had given up, but at least was still alive
But thought that moment, was unlikely to arrive
Yet against all odds, that i had in my thoughts
The light at tunnels end, so soon to be caught
More trips to Londinium, and return journeys back
The course of discussions suggested, i was back on track
Until finally in 2019, on 30th May last year
I had my Gender Reassignment Surgery, Dear!
So now i live, with one digit less
My mind remains the same, i can still play chess
This is simply my story, how my life began to unfold
Others in a similar position, may have different stories to be told
But ultimately, be we people, aliens, or elves
We all strive, when possible, to simply be ourselves
Written by
Jemia de Blondeville  63/Transgender Female/hastings
(63/Transgender Female/hastings)   
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