Sometimes my mind feels trapped in a fog,
A fog filled with guilt and shame.
A fog that seemed so pure,
When I was insecure.
I couldn’t escape the allure.
Of the mature.
A lust that only took,
Leaving me empty.
It was like a crook,
Robbed and stabbed me.
Was left wounded, bleeding badly.
Felt so ashamed, that I isolated from friends and family.
Which then spiralled me into a depression,
I was so suicidal, went to church but gave no confession.
For how could I talk to God,
When I felt like a demon?
How could I say I respected women,
When I was fiending?
With toxic desires,
That drove fast like street cars.
My soul felt like it was on fire,
And in the mirror all I saw was a monster.
Wondering if it isn’t too late to turn back,
After my red heart turned black.
For I’ve been so lost in this fog for so long,
Searching for hope to keep moving on.
While also praying for strength to hold on.
But every day it’s a struggle,
With a new hurdle.
And sometimes I still fall flat on my face,
But life is a journey, and I will finish this race!
No longer will I let this fog keep me in place,
No longer will I let myself be as fragile as a vase.
For I know my worth,
And I have faith.
That this demon can become an angel once again.