Jun 2013
I've been thinking about what I should say when I visit you...
And I am hoping I will gather up the courage to make you say it to my face
Tell me how you feel without hiding behind the cloak of a keyboard or computer screen.
I think I could be brave enough to tell you that I'm not going to find anyone better
So there is no point in waiting for that to happen
That there is no way I could find someone as good for me as you are.
I want you to find the strength to kiss me for real
Instead of kissing me on the head saying you always wanted to kiss me
And wanted to make sure you did it in some way before you left.
And while we are on the topic of you leaving lets talk about things you said.
You can't say you want to spend the rest of your life with me
And then go away
You can't cry in my arms and let me do the same
And then disappear
You just can't tell me you would stay for me
And not expect me to want to ask.
You're confused now, you don't know what you are saying
You don't understand that this is getting real very quickly for me
And I don't know how to make it stop.
These aren't just words.
They are supposed truths that I wish I could believe
But can't stop thinking that you will change your mind, that you will find someone better
Because we all know you could.
I wish I could believe you
And I tell everyone that I trust you, and I think I could
But I don't think I do
And the worst part is
I know I did.
Once upon a time I could believe in every word that you said
But it seems like you are confessing more lies to me every day
I love that you are telling me the truth but you have wronged me in the past
And I'm not so sure I'm over it.
I want to be, I want to have everything figured out
But that's not realistic.
The upside is I have thirty days to figure out what I want to tell you.
And maybe I will just hand you this right before I go.
Do to you what you did to me
Leave the ball in your court.
But then the bad news is I have thirty days to chicken out.
So if you're reading this then I congratulate myself
I did the impossible
I told you the truth.
You're turn.
And I am hoping I will gather up the courage to make you say it to my face
Tell me how you feel without hiding behind the cloak of a keyboard or computer screen.
I think I could be brave enough to tell you that I'm not going to find anyone better
So there is no point in waiting for that to happen
That there is no way I could find someone as good for me as you are.
I want you to find the strength to kiss me for real
Instead of kissing me on the head saying you always wanted to kiss me
And wanted to make sure you did it in some way before you left.
And while we are on the topic of you leaving lets talk about things you said.
You can't say you want to spend the rest of your life with me
And then go away
You can't cry in my arms and let me do the same
And then disappear
You just can't tell me you would stay for me
And not expect me to want to ask.
You're confused now, you don't know what you are saying
You don't understand that this is getting real very quickly for me
And I don't know how to make it stop.
These aren't just words.
They are supposed truths that I wish I could believe
But can't stop thinking that you will change your mind, that you will find someone better
Because we all know you could.
I wish I could believe you
And I tell everyone that I trust you, and I think I could
But I don't think I do
And the worst part is
I know I did.
Once upon a time I could believe in every word that you said
But it seems like you are confessing more lies to me every day
I love that you are telling me the truth but you have wronged me in the past
And I'm not so sure I'm over it.
I want to be, I want to have everything figured out
But that's not realistic.
The upside is I have thirty days to figure out what I want to tell you.
And maybe I will just hand you this right before I go.
Do to you what you did to me
Leave the ball in your court.
But then the bad news is I have thirty days to chicken out.
So if you're reading this then I congratulate myself
I did the impossible
I told you the truth.
You're turn.
