I don't know
If you cared enough to find this
But every night now
I think of La La Land
That night I knew I would lose my job
When you convinced me to stay
And why I cried so much
Why I over-empathized
It was me and you.
Im still trying to figure out
If I miss you
Or just the idea of it
But every time I see you now
I still smile
And you do too
I wonder if I'm the only one
With ache in their chest
I wonder if I'm the only one
Who wishes love took deeper roots
I wonder if I'm the only one
Who still thinks of the beach
And the way we just lay together
When I laid in the sand
And another voice is with me
She asked me tonight,
"who was your first love?"
All I could see
Between closed eyes
Was your face
How hard it is to reach out
Between the wrought iron gates
And take a hand
That seeks to save?
But as He severs the ties
And destines us for different paths
I hear the devil himself
Understand his distance from God
You were so close to complement
Yet far too tangential
We now suffer from acute
Dispensation of angle
I do not know how long I will wait
Until I can wake
And not miss you.
Not dream of the same foggy Venice
Or the same question,
"Why, Why, Why"
Or stay up fighting mind to erase you
And the image of your smile
Or the sound of your laugh
Or how much you loved the way I ran my fingers along your neck
There's not a poem long enough in the world
To justify this
And the surrender to God that must replace
The emptiness you left.