(alternately titled: Typical daily mindset today –
July 17th, 2020)

The following words
mostly unredacted, nevertheless finessed
for curbed poetic/prosaic appeal
lock, stock and barrel
codify, and edify (hoopfully not mortify)
any reader unbeknownst and/or familiar
with unsteady state of yours truly,
(an ordinary garden variety generic guy)

who ofttimes expresses suicidal ideations
merely freed pent up
watery melancholic thoughts
(pitted within his psyche)
to experience vicariously personal impact
how such Earth shattering words of finality
might affect (or not) an anonymous reader.

Additionally I gave literary weight
to morbid topic confounding
moost every sentient and sensate human being
unable to escape her/his ultimate demise
eventually laid claim
by grim reaper
who unfailingly claims corporeal essence

which accepted fate
impossible mission to envision,
yet as chronological orbitz figuratively accrued
heightened awareness proportionately pronounced
(at least within mine cerebral cortex)
thus teasing out mortality
to comprehend (even minimally)
such mind boggling concept.

No immediate recourse sought
to compromise, exorcise, jeopardize, et cetera
the mailer daemons powerfully fraternizing
gamesomely cavorting, ripsnorting,
and yes terrorizing
sinusoidal undulations whatsapp

pining within mine approximately
deux clenched fist sized brain
temporary organic matter
lodged within the noggin
of one contemplative, intuitive,
and ruminative **** sapien.

Mine skeptical papa helped beget me,
a stranger in a strange land,
I experience difficulty breathing
despite pitch perfect cloudless ether
analogously steeped in foreign air,
as surviving foreigner,
one doubting Thomas
(English muffin) niggling heir.

Nostalgic reminiscences venerated zealously
violently pound every square inch,
where thinking transpires
within convolutions characterizing fifty shades
of gray matter lodged
clapping hands upon ears
renders a feeble attempt
to block deafening mind chatter.

I precariously perch
(albeit metaphorically)
perch upon precipice
staring into infinite abyss
hesitant to bid thee world
of the livingsocial adieu
trembling, kickstarting, fumfering...
apprehensive, tentative, wary

regarding permanent solution
to temporary emotional ill
afore taking leave,
where family bids me good riddance
bon voyage into netherlands
long sought realm of hereafter
abounding with peacefulness
of body, mind, and spirit.

Linkedin with hypothetical
undertaking that envisions me dead
preceding lines fell shy describing scenario
analogous to internal civil war playing out
inside formerly nasal twanging talking head,
(above attributed to submucous cleft palate)
yours truly characterized asthma worst enemy led
imagine pacifist sent into battle without mercy

futile effort foregone conclusion,
hence pointlessness witnessing
prayer for salvation, which I ne'er pled
akin to Isaac Bashevis Singer Gimpel the fool
and/or kamikaze pilot
one and/or another rushed in
where angels feared to tread.

More'n devilish tomfoolery,
I disclosed wretched mental state
no, not necessarily continuous
unbridled intense self destruction within me pate
more so chronic **-hum ambivalent attitude
quite upsetting thee missus, i.e. me mate

more often than not
no surprise predominant moody blue
exhibited courtesy yours truly,
twould be antonym of jubilate
tis the exception when I feel
(likened to Tony the tiger) grrrrrreat!