This morning I woke with heavy, heavy eyelids
As if another version of myself had spent the night weeping in my dreams about all of the things that I can't seem to bring myself to face
I tried to put my glasses on, but they didn't seem to fit or work or do whatever it is that they're supposed to do
The world that I view today is foggy and grey and not real
I feel that I may be stuck somewhere else with that other version of me
And we're both still crying and weeping and confused about so, so many things
About everything, really
Still so, so confused
I wish I could let that version of myself free, I wish I could just let her speak instead of speaking for her
I cover up her hurting with uncomfortable chuckles, and bad jokes
Self deprecation, and all of the other countless coping mechanisms I've developed in attempts to drown her out
But her sobs are so loud sometimes
More often that I would like, and much more often recently
Maybe one day I will let her voice yell out
But today I will stay with her, wherever she is that isn't here
And we will weep
With heavy, heavy eyelids