The whole you being destructively sad and raging being childlike full of tremendous joy being a silent observer piercing every thing being a hilarious fool one eye fixed upon the truth, still- being a deep deep feeling creature rejecting the building of fixed walls- rather tired of the motion being the seeing kid that feels and understands the push and pull and navigates through it with a fierce perseverance a breath so persistent it could give you a pause more often letting go just a bit of the existential relentlessness
I am so many things at the same time, it really IS a challenge to be the conductor here :D