Why do you write like you're running out of time?
Lin-Manuel's all too apt question feels much too personal
Running, chasing down thoughts and feelings and explanations
Necessary to understand, theorise, analyse, criticise. My
patience wears thin as I realise I'm
running from myself as I
barrel towards truths.

Grappling with inspection, learning more about perception, intention
And navigating this new world, no
it's the old world with renewed vision
Open eyes wide at the injustice, in-fighting, inability to step aside as privilege clouds judgement.
The caucasity.

It feels wrong to wear the badge of ally,
Share lessons learned or ring out the battlecry
for justice
reparations
and necessary losses because
Needs Must
when I'm still blinded by the white light radiating from my own complexion in the unsettled dust.

It's amazing I
still manage to make it all about me when I
know it's about others whose voices were suppressed
And really I
know that's not really true
It's just that I
never second guessed
what I was told by
those in power. I stayed willingly complacent.
Privilege, reckoning, accepting, harms done,
next steps, affirmative message, false promises from my tongue
until they have real action I can take but
Again this narrative still centres on myself and
that needs to change.

The focus needs to change.
The emphasis needs to change.
Or the injustice with remain the same.
And too many people are running out of time.