God has granted me with free will, so would it be blasphemy if sometimes I can't use it?

Because, yes, sometimes I can't.

Panic wants to ride. Then we ride.

We ride fast, side to side, no speed limit.

It already took the wheel,im blind and deaf even if I can still hear how strong it is.

How strong it attacks me by sending those things I've buried, those demons I've builded plus things that won't ever happen.

How am I supposed to stop or take the control when my heart became a heavy piece of iron, as fire is racing in every vein.

This ride finally stops when I can see the first ray of sun, then I can breath fresh air, slowly it stops...

Finally I can see the yellow house with the wooden door... This house saw me grow up, I'm here in Happy Place.