does it always become a quest to: pretend to play the violin... when fiddling with one's beard? esp... a best trimmed beard self-trimmed outside of the confines of the ottoman barber shop?
most probably... this self-loving of owning a beard... all this self-loving of... keeping a tighter trim on the ***** region in eden... it's not like: i'm playing with an advantage... ****-sure... not really... but most certainly half the ****-envy of a workaholic piston master to pump pump and... push a ring closure on the matter...
it's just so easy when... you can only tell the truth...
and my mother complains... "verbatim": 'and how do you think i feel when people talk about their children... and i can't say anything about you... and how do you think i feel when they talk about their children and i don't know what to say about you'...
'unless anyone asks... and they are not inclined to talk to me directly... tell them i exist'...
oh this sort of shame of conversation visited the house today... house: my prison... 2 hours pretending to be empty air in the kitchen... 2 hours... perhaps teasing 3... and my parents talked with the parents of my contemporaries...
married: i don't know whether happy... hell: i don't even know whether left with: still interesting leftovers... married though: so life hijacked... moving on... pristine relief from passing on... the Dean Neil and Aaron... and i'm like... strapped to a corner of a kitchen pretending to not be there... i sat there... looked at clouds... the lasted long enough... playing rat... then i took out the permanent ink felt-tip... and drew happy faces on plum tomatoes on cans... and angry faces on onions yet to be peeled...
and i drew an imitation face... on a milk bottle almost emptied and most certainly gone south with mrs. sour... like... it was blur's: coffee and tv... but... pig... sorry... big mistake... the nose? i guess probably missing in the original... mr. potato ******* a squiggly clean piglet...
coffee and tv... take-over of guitarist singing... the lead singer thinking of a... stow-away project: a bit like what happened with system of a down...
so now i know... mother calls out: MATTHEW... मआफऊ (M-A-F-U)... terrible prank of surds... perhaps add 'ebrew... (מַתִּתְיָהוּ)... sorry... no braille nikkud of the ishraelites... not ctrl + c / + p for... Larry Tesler: either... hidden vowels: (מתתיהו) except for the "unexpected" (ו)... works fine... (מתיה) - and of course... this is not a place for trivial matters... kibbutz / shurek... the universe of yetzirah... formation... who's inhabitants are angels... a pretty ***** antithesis angel sits with a genius gizmo on one of my shoulders... and a ******* devil on the other...
point being: i wasn't there... so much for having to talk about me... as one parent to another... something to boast with... something to bargain... since... as some point... people tend to exhaust their own... self-orientating junctions of webbing out...
to merely think isn't enough... with the n.p.c. meme and what not... res extensa matters as much... that i am: coming to realise... men can fathom the rex extensa concept more: the heliocentric model better than women... and their: yes yes... they can have their res cogitans model... but also... that geocentric model of affairs...
i'm too a hot-head and a rod... filled with brimming emotional spaghetti... i sometimes think: last... 2 hours in the kitchen... drawing angry comic faces on onions and mild neuter faces on milk bottles... i had to...
then i started to bewilder myself by holding an egg in my hand... a chicken egg: some variation of a philosopher's stone... and doodle i did... on this... favourite... of an edible abortion... i was so "crass" enough... to itch... a quasi-giraffe donning... a pseudo-shtreimel... and a... bloated... chess-board... and some variation of cubism: an imitation orb / circle... two lines and a line of "morse"... and the thought... perhaps the idea of a flat earth is in no way an aid for... reading a map... or g.p.s.... but what if: the currently ascribed to... form... is... as its orbit... oval?
petty questions: requisite of doodling: of encompassing time as much as passing it... since... the space i occupy will neither spontaneously implode... or explode: for a libra "question" of improving my toll... or disproving my bogus inquisitiveness... as being... a labour of innocence / a labour of love... a labour or... missing the concept of serious matters: necessarily undertaken...
oh don't mind me... who am i... to quest the question of serious... study in science from an angle of humanism...
i still think you need to keep oneself humble.... beside copernican... to navigate a car... from england to poland... via that spaghetti of towing-tie and spaghetti of cement surrounding Antwerp and the German Rhine Valley precursor: Dortmund... Essen... Duisburg...
the idea of "leveraging" truth... no... lies... are worth leveraging... given... fictive-esque inconsistencies... truth is so *******... it's... mono-dimensional: uni- no-no-dimensional... truth is a rude worth among... peacocking liar... hell: an ugly word... and hell is... never: a "dasein"... claustro-phobe-cluster: lost of wit and ****... besides... the already missing... ridicule...
decipher... a bottle of rice wine vinegar... yep... the chinese ideograms...
disclaimer... hello poetry doesn't allow chinese ideograms... to read with chinese ideograms... see here:
supposing i was "bored"... "by the *****"... and no... of course... no *****... best of tutti-frutti... boom-balloon... quicksilver and... if i had time in a bottle... sweet dreams are made of these...
choke-chin-and-chew a linking up with those 3 million hong kong lottery winners from the... revival of the bright-and-bored... hemp'yre... of the broadening the wit of a brrr brrr...
water: tablespoon: teaspoon: rice: white: vinegar: chicken? corn: sliced: common characters in ingredient, marinade, seasoning: sugar:
me... mandarin and myopia... me and chinese and: best luck with a concept of ABC... the crude sounds... and all these... elaborations of phonetic encoding? these games of matchsticks... x-rays... and chopper-chop?
pretending to cope with a psycopathic lost pretending for lord-over "cwue"... but these crude syllables and sounds... and all the rest of it... being allowed to... decipher in liquid squid amount of acid and other... digestive monstrosities...
best no good: no good... that's best... no good... that's best... no good: nothing working around shadowing inhibitions...at best: no good... this is the only good... my miser self in stençil... like... Liberace's closet carnival!