I am lifted
above my monsters
away from the voices
and temptations
up above all things
dark
lonely
triggering.
with letters on a keyboard
trying to put my state
into carefully organized
words
though this isn't
really
what I truly wanted
while now I am in
a cloud of glowing white
I wanted to go
down
and sink into the earth
into its crust
to shake hands
with the
devil.
I wave at my monsters from
above
and while I know
my gut misses them
and
so does my heart
my brain is clawing
at my mind
telling me that
I shouldn't miss them
because then
you'll be normal
and stop stressing them all out
like they told us
'just be happy'
funny how the only
thing
that could make me
happy-ish
is a puff
of a sweet herb
or a snort
of cloud powder
funny.
for now
ill stay in my cloud
a little bubble
of feeling almost whole
for a while
before the pull
back to
reality
is too touch for
the big M to battle
but it will be fine
because
It's there
waiting for me
to step back into its dark embrace
and succumb
to my own demons.