I'm unemployed with a small child at home. I don't have the patience that I'd like to have with her. I want to play with her freely and with no worries about tomorrow. I want to make her feel loved unconditionally and protect her from everything.
I need to find a job that I like and that won't make me feel guilty from not being around her.
I'm living with the love of my life and I don't want to be always lashing out on him from being human. I don't want to pass him stress because I'm not in my best place, because I need more security, more confidence, more joy.
I don't remember what I like anymore and I just pass my time with whatever entertains my brain, and for a while I'm numb, I feel ok.
But I'm not okay.
I wonder if everything that is happening is because I'm not being my best and I'm attracting it.
At this moment I feel lost in my thoughts and I cannot run anymore from what I'm feeling.
Being quarantined is messing with my capability of a normal process.
I need to breathe and think of the next step to get up and live.