In the dead of night
My fears come to haunt me
To eat me up
To possess me
I am so scared
And so very alone
The physical pain I feel
That others cannot comprehend
Is the beating heart of me now
No excitement for the coming day anymore
Just coping and hoping it will all go away
Just a being made up of anxiety and stress
Longing to live again, love again, thrive again
I remember lying in my love's arms
So happy and eager for the future
And the birth of our babies giving me something to really live for.
Such Joy.
Where has that gone?
All that wonder and hope
A distant memory
I struggle to smile
I struggle to live
I struggle to be