every so often
the thought of you enters
and it's equally paralyzing and maddening
why should i let you occupy so many of my thoughts when I know deep down
you don't let me occupy any of yours?

occasionally it's hard to breathe
i want to live a life by my own accord
but also
i want you to find the life i lead
so harmonious to what you want
and that disconnect?
incapacitating