Sadness sometimes over runs me.
I find tradgedy in truth.
My past is scattered ashes.
Do you have a clue
What does that matter dude.

I rose when in defeat.
I smoke and go to sleep..
My beauty hides.
So deep inside. I know the oceans deep..
Enormous like a storm above.
That torments the sea.

My parents loved me always.
No not a perfect home.
We had dysfunction chaos.
Drugs pain. Yes some of those.
I started smoking dope.
To cope at twelve years old.
My body was an alien.
Maybe that's what
Made me crazy made me gag and choke.

I have two little kids.
Yes I'm the proudest father.
But I came out as transgender.
Last December.
And had to tell my daughter.
Her dads becoming mommy.
I've went through nothing harder

I've been in psych asylum
So many times who's counting.
Upto 15. Times and I'm
Olanzapine. and ******.
When in a minor tantrum.
Self harm
Slit my arms so wide.
beyond this
size of bandage.
And time does damage.
My last relationship was based on *******.
Bi ****** havoc.
Guy guy girl sandwich.

At nine
Kissing tongue in throat
Playing truth or dare
*** if you didn't
All the cool girls
knew you were scared.

So many times I cried.
And wondered who was there.
An emotion to exclusive.
To be given up to you and shared.
So I kept pretending to like girls
Yeah its fine if it's in truth or dare.
All the while
Tightening around my throat.
And truly scared
Like a noose was there.

Moved away at 17.
Spent some time in Manitoba.
Got beat down so ******* hard
One night.
Thought I would end up in a coma.
Now im 30 years old.
And mostly hoping for a moment.
I can. Be open. To exposure.
Captivate your heart.
And calm the stormy ocean
That torments your emotions.