the law of averages is pretty clear
I'll live to 78
drinking 79,000 cans of beer
and 20 kilo's overweight

consuming 60,000 cans of cokes
with 14,000 burgers, shakes and fries
smoking about half a million smokes
with half a million coughs, surprise !

and i will have 1.6 wife's
with 9.66 cats
joining the 99% of married lives
where 99% stay in debts

which leaves me with just one percent
so i think it's pretty clear
that no one wants a 79th birthday spent
without drinking beer