I wish you weren’t my biological mother
So I wouldn’t be so embarrassed of the person you are.
I’m ashamed of how you left and how you raised me.
I’m ashamed and still learning to heal from the wounds you created.
I am ashamed I tried for so long to have pleased you while truly feeling insecure every day.
I am ashamed I fell for your countless lies and doubt you built in to me.
I am ashamed of the extreme religious beliefs you taught me from a young age that has now indented on my personality with flaws that follow.
I am ashamed that I grew up knowing nothing of the world out there and had to learn to walk on my own.
I am ashamed of the abuse you raised me with and continue to fill people with blinding lies
I am ashamed
But I am not ashamed of the fact that I have pulled myself out of your misery
I am not ashamed I have survived
I am not ashamed that I have come out of this a better person
I am not ashamed of the life lessons I have learnt
I am not ashamed that you are my past.
I am not ashamed to look forward for the future
I am not ashamed of my present