i want to scream.
i want to cry.
i want to feel something other than the numbness that's overtaken my thoughts for the past 2 months.
i want to tell the people how they hurt me,
how they made me sob on sleepless nights until no more tears came out.
i want to conquer my fears, anxieties
but no.
i'm ******* numb.

why is the only thing i can think about pain?
i don't truly want to end it all

i just want to feel alive again.