lately these images appear
uninvited
unwanted

but so very
real

a gun to my head
held in my own hand
finger on the trigger

afraid
yet
confident

I dont want this
but
my mind
pulls the trigger

every day

what do you do when happiness is
darkened
by your own mind

what do you do when your
own mind
tells you to die?

I dont want this
but
it won't stop