I wish she was happy and I was dead
Never forgetting the words that were said
You can never get used to a heartbreak
I pray to god my life to take
being told one thing yet feeling another
Inside my heart feels like my favorite color
It’s black for those of you who don’t know
Screaming for help but my pain I won’t show
I’m scared of opening up again
I miss the days way back when
I was just a stupid kid
Back when depression wasn’t on my grid
Before the girls, anxiety, and drugs
When everyday I would give lots of hugs
Now I sit at my desk with my flask
with the same questions I always ask
Why am I never enough
is loving me really that tough
What am I doing wrong
Is my life destined to be long
Why can’t I just pull this trigger
Can this hole in my heart get any bigger
was it something that I did
will I ever get to be that same stupid kid
I miss feeling happy, loved, and joy
now I’m just everyone’s personal toy
No one wants to know me
there is one thing I can foresee
Watching myself die alone
I wish I’d just sink into the unknown
whatever happened to that stupid kid