I have never wanted to believe in anything [you] so desperately.
I was clinging on to it, like it was the only way to breathe; only way to be free, imprisoning me from the suffocating society norms–
Waking up on the coarse sheets, smelling like roses and whiskey, your scars brushing my freckled delicately folded arms bathing in the morning rays,
Then your shadows trailed up, destroying every ounce of love you might have felt, why are you letting them drug you into never escaping this lonely eternity?
You were the prayer; you were the reason, was I ever enough?
I know believing in you is like asking for a car crash, but if it’s you then I want to bleed,
And taint every inch of your skin in my blood,
                        And mould every bone of our bodies into one and call you mine.
I want to hurt like that, like falling from the empire state, lungs choked and crashing into blindness, with ever tendon and capillary unidentifiable in the mess that’s been created
I want to breathe like that, like fire breathes in forest, but that’s the way you are breathing in my heart.
I want you to tell me you haven’t lost yourself to darkness, and there is still a spark of luminescence hidden underneath the gardens of nightshade –
Left in your soul waiting to be watered and nurtured like a seed, then growing into cherry blossoms –
Rather than a field of poisonous mandrakes.
And I wanted to believe I’ll be the redemption but my knives are blunt and they cannot unchain you and you aren’t realizing what it means to be alive.