You are my beautiful, nagging wife. We have been married for fifty-one years, Seven months, And eleven days, exactly. You are the most annoying person I have ever come across, And my best friend. It can be simplified into vanilla coke, Ginger ships, And savior by Rise Against. You are my secret jar. You are my rain. You are my better half. We are two halves of one old and demented, crazy cat lady. Self destruction and all. Destroy my reassurance, And reassure my destruction, But I love you more than I hate tomatoes, And I'll never ask for a divorce.