i lay here
i expect the tears to work themselves out
but they refrain from doing so.
time keeps moving
i can feel the days getting shorter.
as i’ve tried to cut it short
it never worked.
the world has its way
of getting what it wants
but yet i’m stuck in feeling
moving through the motions
of the pattern i’m stuck in.
days feel meaningless
but i keep going
as much as i don’t want to.
the feelings i’ve suppressed
have kept themselves contained
until now.
this flood of emotions
feels like i’m drowning
i can hardly keep my head
above the crashing waves
of reality, hardships, and pain.
this empty pain
lurks and stays behind my mind.
the cries for help
are more like whispers for assistance.
i distribute help as if it was overflowing
but i’m the one who needs it most.
i beg for this feeling to end
i beg for a new start or a do over
accepting this hurt has been the worse.
if i could bring back
the joyful little girl
that i once was
maybe things would be different.
it’s time to take back my own life
and replace this empty
with something to fill that void.
i just want to feel something
once again.