An empty bole was imprinted in me
I can't tell how or when did it reap to be
But what I for sure know is that there's no way to escape it still

After every climbed boulder stood another hill
I didn't dare stop while I mounted the rocks until I felt ill
Nor did I rested while searching for that fill
That wholesome, warm feeling everyone tries to steal

Alas, my determination wanes with my youth
With every passing afternoon
Those mountains play me like a fool
Testing me how much I can go on until I run out of fuel

Laughably, without apparent purpose, I gaze into the night
Endeavouring to grasp the feel and sentiments that drives everyone to fight
Whilst I stand and watch blankly at the wall
Seconds coarse and run in haste as the heavy sands of time fall

For what do we wake every morning?
So that we can weep in mourning?
To continue performing?
To keep away the unruly feelings from exploding?

If that's what life requires and pushes me to do
I'm afraid I can no longer go subdue
And see another dusk rise through the sky
Mindlessly encouraging myself to attempt fly

The lies grow heavier as the clock ticks by
And I hate to see what has become of I
So I nimbly choose to look away with a sigh

I force the food down and swallow my wails
I force myself to withstand the gales
I force myself to make up tales
Trying hard to reach the sails

Those around me are content enough with my efforts
Makes me wonder do they see my blemished self pacing in circles through the deserts?
Though, it's not like I bother to know
I just nod as if their words were the most natural thing in the world
As if my heart wasn't moving at one thousand miles per minute
Which always makes my stomach hurl
As if everything right now didn't seem completely twisted and scripted

I only wish for this cycle to end
So I and the world could finally blend
Stand up and take a step
Despite my feet wanting to march and flee
Because I'm too scared to see

I close my eyes and lean my head back against the bedroom door
Hoping and praying that they don't hear the slight bang that comes from the contact as I slide to the floor
Even though my heartbeat speeds up at the risk, I don’t move
I simply keep my ground, inhaling and exhaling deeply
Trying everything and anything to keep myself from crumbling all over again
And cry until I misled myself to appear vain
Until there are no longer tears soaking the mask that I abstain