I never spoke
I was always mute and nerdy
People called me shy
Maybe they were right
I was momma's and Papa's girl

But I tried to speak
Something or that one thing
I opened my mouth
I finally let it out
But when I came to my senses
I was only dreaming

This time I will speak
I have decided
After everything I have to speak
But I do not want anyone to worry
So I made myself a prisoner of my thoughts

Now I speak
I speak to hide
I speak to give hints
Because I am a coward
I never had the courage
I do not have the courage
And I will never have the courage

I wonder why I never speak
Is it my worry to make others worried
Or is it my ego that thinks I can withstand everything
But in the end it is my inability
My insecurities that chocked me to death

I wish I never existed
Because my existence is nothing like life
I write in silver and wish it to turn it red
But in all this sufferings I have the courage to survive it all
So I just do that

I survive because my destiny was never life.I survive because I just cannot live after thousands of tries, after oceans of crying and even after losing myself I just cannot live....

I am destined to be a survivor....