the shock hits first;
                  even before the betrayal.
          oncethatsinksin,

you would think anger would be next -
                  
                  but it's not.

                               it's disappointment.

disappointment is next,
                  because in addition to the


emptiness


that what you did
created,

i am disappointed that (yet again) i didn't
                  see it coming.

you would think that by now,
                  i'd be used to it,

                                  but how does one get used to
                                  thisfeelingofemptyinferiority?

i'll tell you.

you don't

                  you don't get used to it,
                                 youleave.


but i'm too
                 shocked and
                                 betrayed and
                                                  disappointed.

                                 andyoujustlaythereand

                *sleep