Crazy how time flies but the pain never seems to die, crazy lies and bitter cries.  Realize that my baby never really dies. Because it saw the shame in my eyes. Bitter war cries, did the devil make him do it, he wanted to be mine he knows he couldn't. I didn't love him that way, for that I never cared to give him any of my time. He wasn't mine but I was his, run away? Did he feel ashamed? Is that why he wouldn't let me run away? I packed my bags, his fist were raised. In the rage I felt his pain, shoved me hard against the wall. "Are you ******* insane....!!! "He cornered me that's were I remained, don't move I though. Don't ******* breathe, if he don't think your dead. He'll make sure you at least bleed, cry out! Call for help please, he laid me down and said soft and sweet "you'll never have to worry, I'll take care of everything." A cup in one hand my thoughts in the other. I thought is he trying to be the perfect lover. I never wanted him, he was like a big brother, suppost to keep me safe. Made sure no one got in the way, but he wasn't so new to this crucial game. I was the first victim that he kept tamed, kept from escape. Hidden from the light and into the dark I fade. He wanted ***, But I didn't want to be his slave a teenage girl not in my middle age. I wanted to live a normal life. Where in the picture I wasn't just a typical house wife. Get my own ****, I could if I wanted. My body was never something I flaunted, ashamed of it, I was always taunted. Boys were impressed the girls wanted, I was an okay kid not a barbie or polly pocket. With girls my age who had no knowledge. Pretty mature girl, they all thought.  I wouldn't let them in because I fought. I never thought in my life, dealing with ******* I always had to thrive to stay alive. Keep swimming to survive,  I fought all my life. Not to be put down and labeled, just a temporary timeline.