It struck me like a vacuum
Out of the love that surrounded me
it ****** it all away

I REMEMBERED...

I REMEMBERED how your breath felt against

I REMEMBERED how your lips tasted of chap stick (I was never quite sure of what kind)

I REMEMBERED the ice cream swirl of epiphanies brought about by your laugh.

I REMEMBERED "how lucky am I to have someone that makes saying goodbye so hard"

I REMEMBERED crying in your arms

I REMEMBERED how we would stay up until ungodly hours speaking of life

I REMEMBERED how you showed me that I could feel.
That there wasn't just gray but rather a beautiful, wonderful, colorful swirl of pain and joy and kindness all around us.

I REMEMBERED the joking scoldings when I fell asleep

I REMEMBERED being able to complement you. When I could so "no!!! You don't look weird!!! You look gorgeous!". Then you would awkwardly try to push the complement away

I REMEMBERED how we used to talk. I was always knowing you better

Now: we are stagnant
Now: I am gray
Now: I am crying

The vacuum of remembrance
the only vacuum that gives to take away