there was an audience... there is still an audience... i wonder about it... i'm such a conservative deacon in the comments that... i leave very little traces of interaction... i tried getting ****** into the whole affair of leaving comments - like i might have left grafitti tags on the pillars of bridges... there was an audience... there's still an audience... i imagine... or i rather: translate with metaphor what i'm: trying to imagine... three moths have attempted to fly into my room to spend the night free from fear... i caught two in my hand... put the clenched hand to my ear... no... not the sea trapped in a seashell... close... sound effect of... rain on a tin roof... a moth trapped in a cage of a hand... it hasn't rained for days... weeks even... the most... bountiful of springs in england... and everyone is... supposed to handle the affair like the 2nd coming of ribonson crusoe... i can: because i'm used to it... peacefully anti-social... it's hardly bragging but: there's an audience... there's always an audience... here's to me: getting regularly milked... or... laying some eggs with the sunrise and the moon... i am... at a stage of maturing from... a phase where... i did... once upon a time... care about what i wrote... for my own gratification: but... not any more... i've reached a point where... i can join the ranks of the 4 Dada Suicides... 'the four' (who) 'took nihilism of the movement to its ultimate conclusion, their works are the remnants of lives lived to the limit and then cast aside with nonchalance and disdain'... Vaché (overdosed)... Rigaut (shot himself)... Cravan and Torma (disappeared)... the latter two... probably lived a life in approximation to what might have happened to... Richey Edwards... born on... disappeared aged 27... death is the last clue... not that i'm going to imitate what's already claimed... but... a mile from my home... i can... find... ample resources... hemlock... the stems are poisonous... i've tried... lilac mushrooms... dog mushrooms they call them... i don't know whether i ate a poisonous one or not... it wasn't... a muhomor... amanita fly agaric... but... when the circuses have died and the bread is still there... no new movies... no sports... what can beat: the old tease of mortality... the grain-of-sand per month's worth of movement added... to the tally and the curriculum vitae of vivo per se... the theatre of death... if i don't think about death with a joke... i stop being... ridiculous in life... i like the thought of death when... life doesn't preserve any... sense of... any... alternative... "light" entertainment... it's not like i'm planning an escape... rich and about to clone myself... and teach the clone "me" to be: a "future" - and me... i almost can see how someone must have tried to cheat death with the available avenue of cloning... but... the subservience of the clone... the clone being what? someone must have learned the hard way... i just interjected the question as an: and... which is a conjunction... but if you're gonna go... hell... seal a room and yourself in it... and buy a... metaphorical tonne of lily of the valley... go to sleep... and never wake up... death... even death has to become entertaining: in thinking terms - at the very least... the only real eventuality among... half a dozen of impossible things to think about... daily... and here's that apple... if nietzsche... sentenced the source and future disease from the 19th century... well... so much for overcoming nihilism... nihilism... after all... is not... apathy... and even with the death of nihilism... at least nihilism still asked for moloch-esque sacrifices of will... apathy? what does this slug ask for? it asks of you to... well... wrestle with yourself... hence that "overlooked" quote: if a day has many pockets... yes... those pockets of self-realisations that provide a glitch of proof... a proof of... having to find dominion in settled dust... oh to hell with grand metaphors of staging revolutions brought down from mountain-tops! - and i'm literally drinking my way through... what 19th century nihilism became: a 21st century apathy hangover... i'll spare the 20th century the rites of... a mythical new beginning... a year 0... 100 years give or take... each side of the end of the 20th century... but... nihilism is no longer... the standard: to overcome... as much meaning can be derived from a peanut as from a falling star... to be this: subjective sanitiße everything - i hardly think... a dickens would require an objective reader... what is an objective reader? someone who studies: rather than reads... newspapers... someone who probably proofs reading... by also ensuring citations are... made abundantly clear... archives... etc. well... better contemplating the theatre of death than... say... "normies": ahem... the critique of china... point: can you imagine... if... communism... was thought-up... when... the french revolution began? the only revolution? rather than the russian oopsie? well... and communism began... when... engels and marx... went to the north of england... and... prior to the manifesto... wrote of the details of child-labour... this is not my thing but... it gets to the point where: you can criticize china all you want... but there's no smart... or dumb way... to go about... pretending to be at war... with a population of a billion people... that... if push comes to shove... could be conscripted instantly... to point out... is to exhaust the argument: to have an argument for: "western" principles of democracy... here... have some balloons... here's a keg of helium... 'ave fun... by now... saudi arabia is secretly planning a jihad into the Xinjiang province... saudi arabia: the vatican of the islamic world... is secretly trying to... blah blah... no... the saudi princes are strapped to their yachts... the bangladeshi slave labour blah blah... yeah: but whittle ol' england needs the Neds of Lahore and their tier up from the chimney top: crescent moon-lick... slick... - but to be this... fired up... it's simply exhausting to have: a freedom of speech for such high demands... not need to hide behind the ideals of love... or being misunderstood... in no defence... but... under the guise of that grand word: capitalism... the sub- thorough: made in china... and what now? the jaw dropping counter to the very delicate status quo? it's beyond nihilism... when such upheld values allowed for artistic rebellion... to the moon: been there, done that.. europe the old man... h'america the newly acquired *******... you want politico jargon ******* squeezes... sure thing... stoic india... always the stoic india... to **** off the competition - cheap soviet steel... the soviet union's nuna 2, on 13 september 1959 - in between: frank sinatra's: fly me to the moon - 1963... and thus... r.e.m.'s yeah yeah: 20 July 1969... it's hard to compensate / compete with that sort of a trojan hard-on ***** of the elgin marbles... at least the germanic peoples played and understood the ping-pong with the slavic peoples - the hungarians on the side... but not this... african trash for beijing... the mongol capital of crimea... and golden hoarding project: typo... when they came riding in... smeared in **** and week old **** and horse blood... to make... the labyrinth of the baghdad library... a pyramid of skulls... squeeze me: to this tired state of lost the head to a guillotine chatter-box... even the events of napster unfolding... and all that's being streamed and... now's the time to kiss and cuddle prostitutes... and wet mr. whittle dicky for second chances of a lost digestive... in that pond of brew... easy fools to fool: those camel back rich in dino-blood: soul black... like espressos of mecca... flowing rich and dying with a soothing... from amnesia and diabetes... and amputated limps when... sugar ingestion leaves them... dancing ballet on only one foot... because: porky pie and ms. amber: ha! all bad! so much for... what's waiting the white girl pornstars... the liberated afro-h'americans and the service... of beijing shrimp ****... double edged sword... the height and... all those attaches... of a fine... fine... procelain piece of ***... no-man's-land... the middle ground: of... mercedez-benson-and-hedges... on my way out... the apache / sioux / dodo / aztec / mayan / dodo (again) projects...
semi-closure... gary glitter - rock & roll part II ian watkins (of lostprophets) - shinobi vs dragon ninja... sorry... that one was a paedo... toddle-****** for the latter... and it's not like... i enjoyed the music to begin with... i can't see an ad hominem argument for the former... toddler-******: esp. if the output... well... it's not trash... it's: dad mantra... it's dad claustrophobia... my take on: mahler contra pergolesi.... counter: invest in 100 years to come... of which... you will... find a future reader: being alive... not having re(a)d you... 1986... the reader is born... 1997... you die... you are discovered... come... 2K and 7... 8...... perhaps 9... a time-reference of... 13 years from the readers birth to your death... it's Glasgow... a very rare... sunny... afternoon... psychosis of the reader... 1997 through to... 2008... that's 11 years... so... what matters most is... how well you walk through the fire... that one about the crow and the madmen... and each: having his niche: his "social distancing" clause... writing was fun when one could stomach the: in the background... when people lived their: very troublesome: important... surgical precision... nobel prize winning type / typo lives... writing via a sense of voyeurism was... well... hardly the self-evident blatant it has become... escape into fiction (lies you tell others)... escape into imagination (choking ties of tier-a: as above... with tier-b: as below)... or escape into memory (lies you tell yourself)... but i rather the memory... the cinema of it... i forget to blink when: blinking is akin to... signatures... autographs of famous people... bull... shyte: philately... lepidopterology... half closure of the semi- closure... a brilliant metaphor... when the **** or the latex gimp suits are not available... there's always that 14 year old "idea"... of... a tamed *******... well... if you imagine it as... love at first sight... you're 16 she's 14... and... you're dating her older sister at the time... and then... she disappears... within the confines of her first and last unflowering... but the pristine first-impressions become less metaphor and more: idealism... it's fun... when there's a concensus of it being: forbidden... it's what drives both the hunger... and the feeding... that it's never actually realised is beside the point: made... in... lars von trier's nymphomaniac... too catholic of me: born into it... but... repressing the urges... is as much as... delighting oneself in them... ergo: the necessary *******... so much for... *****-******* and oyster slurping... when... you have been... ahem... told to **** it up... with the: "excess of skin"... excess of skin / chemical imbalance in the brain... how about... i allow... a triatoma infestans... to quicken my: dementia... the myth goes... along the lines... a horse with a grain of sand... via its ear... will bash and ram and ram and bash its head against a brick wall: in an attempt to rid itself of the irritation... conformity: cul de sac queers and kwerks... i lampoon on a sunday... the rest of the days i'm free... clued into: cwown... which is... somehoo: velsh... in parts...
- by death i imply a riddle... by death i imply: freed from the cinema of highly edited pseudo-living... not even among the stage of the theatre... but at least... cinema got one thing right... the suicide of christine chubbuck - the urban myth goes along the lines of: a cockroach was found... alive... 2 weeks... after its head was guillotined... it's like that... bane quote: and... the andrei chikatilo... reality... non-verbatim: 'perhaps he's wondering... why someone would shoot a man... before throwing him out of a plane'... rephrasing: 'perhaps he's wondering... why someone would shoot a man... after throwing him into a prison cell'... unless... he wasn't... expecting... to wait for him... to die... of a urban myth... 2 weeks if not more... brain-dead: heart still pumpking... horrors from Kiev... Chernobyll the ******* icing cream topping the gwand: godzilla: pie in the sky...
i cared... once... once... that was: upon a time... these times don't really require much focus... the space itself poses enough liberty... no need to look as far back as there's to look forward... the 20th century killer: zenith... ****** and ferriswheel of events... waking up to the new mandarin plateau... it's like... waking up from... the refreshing cain mythos relatability... always from h'america... otherwise... bullet to the head... king soldier: human rights... yeah... nice... the shame of homeless people: there's an alexander the great... a a diogenes of synope: with a hippocratic oath... loitering around the corner? hell! go wit' the flou... jump-start a prison adventure... less... high morality ****-pants asking questions on the way... people of high morality and high: low social status importance... **** someone... better than becoming philosophically homeless... blah blah... i'm so little i actually define myself as: at liberty to preserve the lives of moths... yes... well that's nice... for anyone asking to: ride the easy... roulette.