Get too emotionally invested. Brain gets infested. It’s like I get taken over by a world of demons. So mentally ****** because of the past SO’s. Unbelievable what one can do without ever laying a finger on ones body. Messed up to the core. Physically present. Mentally absent. Emotionally unavailable. Broken spirit but I still fly high. Lone-rider. Wondering if maybe being alone is best for me. Healthiest for me. Intoxicated with feelings make me feel like a drunken fool. Sober and alone is where it’s at. Nobody likes being alone. Nobody’s afraid of love. We all love love. We’re just ****** from the last and the past.