i found out                  
you're in pain
you did it to yourself
       you felt sad
scared              
lonely        
those were your excuses
you slashed
bled      
hurt              
because of a    
nightmare  

you told me  
you felt guilty    
and yet
you still did it  

i worry
i fret
i'm scared
for you

distance grants no access
i'm locked away          
unable to talk

my room        
closes in around me
i punch walls        
a boxing match
no winner              
knowing its impossible
i'll never be able to
hold you, help you

******,                    
bruised hands
nothing helps me          
because i'm not helping you

days after
my hands are still aching
your cuts still bleed
nothing gained
only pain