I’m rambling
Because I need to
But I can’t ramble with those I normally would
So I will with you
But who said you want to read my rambles?
Who said that what I’m going through is more important— important enough to be read?
Why am I writing this? Will it be— is it what I need— what I feel I need to be accepted— heard— just to be?
What am I doing this for? I was told it was nice to just write
But all it reveals is more pain
Scratching old woulds open
So I sit “bleeding out”
And I can’t stop it
What am I doing this for? ******* it
What is the ******* point?
Why the **** is this **** happening? WHAT THE ****
All I can do is sit as my ******* life falls apart
But it’s not just about me
I know I need to be about me every once in a while but how can I
I feel like I’m not worth it to be worked up over
But here I am
******* anxious because I didn’t care about myself enough
****
I miss last year when none of this **** happened
When all I had to ******* worry about was whether my parents would find out why I was skipping chemistry
Even though I ******* aced that class
Not showing up for a month
And I still aced that final
******* it... no... just stop talking about that
Nobody ******* cares
Nobody cares
And I’m alone— I FEEL alone
People are here for me
People are there... but I can’t... tell them ****
I need someone here
I need my person to be here. In my room. And we could just talk and talk and talk
I need human connection
I’m need people
Xudhdhujsdjeudj!
Dudnxumeisjdksojdidujddudud!
Rudhdrjxensj­dinrjxudnenisnzm!
God ******* **** it why can’t **** just get fixed!
Why aren’t I happy?
why aren’t i happy?