I have a darkness,
A quiet stealthy darkness,
That resides in the cracks of my soul.
Effortlessly it laces my dreams with its twisted whispers,
It takes sustenance from my values and sharpens it’s teeth on my faith.
Little by little I tempt it out when the world displeases me,
Almost threatening to unleash it as my righteous damnation,
But to free my darkness would be to lose myself,
And I’m not sure I would ever comeback.
So we dance this sickly jig in the shadows of my mind.
Toying with the temptation of power,
Often you can hear me mutter to myself,
Mumbling in a trance,
Reliving what’s happened only this time letting my darkness form the reply,
If you listen closely you will hear the hatred dripping from my lips with every word,
The blackness burning behind my eyes,
Seeing the wrong in everything around me,
My mind fills with grotesque manifestations of torture and demise,
Blood dripping from my gnarled fingers,
The very earth beneath my feet scorched in disgust.
This is when my darkness finds its place,
Comes alive,
Makes me feel more than I’ve ever felt,
Makes me yearn for death and destruction,
It’s intoxicating,
I want to let it course through my veins and consume me,
The temptation becomes almost unbearable,
Until something jerks me back to reality,
A question,
A voice .....
Are you okay, you were mumbling ?
Am I ok ......
I don’t know,
Am I,
The darkness retracts,
Replaced by an emptiness.
Feelings instead of the fight,
And I’m always left with the same thought,
Am I really holding in the darkness,
Or is it the darkness that’s holding in me ?