existence goes from point a to point be,
point a is a darkness, and vast like the sea,
we manifest in the darkness, a frantic plea,
the moment i died i was glad to be me
     surrender last breath, no resistance, no pause
happy to go because i was happy i was
whatever i was, collapses, four walls
i howl in the dark it tears from my jaw
    
     collapse on the ground from euphoria, pain
gawk from outside of myself, dissect my own brain
what does this body, this vessel contain
drift aimless in absurdity, i die death by rain
     this water wont let me breathe, breath is inane
faces with the eyes rolled back, their laughter insane
i'll tell you what the joke is now, gather myself up and explain
108 billion *******, we all live and die the same

      and i get too anxious at night, i feel the blood neck in my veins
feeling like a ******* ball of meat, an animal again
i'm an animal again, frantic, erratic inhumane
if i let the fear go to my belly, it will give me a migraine
      in the empty room, i let go, all emotion is mundane
just chemicals in my brain, just compounds all in vain
if an answer could be found, inward bound and arcane
no trite ****, acknowledge all and every is profane
    
       comfort is a falsehood, a funny jest to entertain
existence is disquieting, a real ***** to explain
language is a funny string, language is a cage
language is my favorite toy, keeps my lil brain engaged
       i like to move furniture around, i like to rearrange
stare back into the mirror, watch my skin drip, i have aged
it frightened me so much i learned to laugh right to my face
i order my books by color, i make myself laugh on a page
    
     the only thing that matters as i dream away the days
the blunt force of my human will,the impulse to create
     it fills me with an unknown light, it filters all my rage
organize and reassemble, acceptance, no afraid
am i letting all control go is this ***** breaking the chain
least until i wake again, step outside another cave