This is my confession.

No matter how deep in darkness I am
No matter how much negativity is placed into my heart
No matter the amount of despair striking my mind.
I will always find enough light to adore you, and love you.
It's in my thoughts that you are not only perfect for me, but that you are mine.
Let's just say, I do a lot of thinking before I hit my bed.
I play scenes over and over inside my head
The day we met, the *** we've had, the way I've felt in your arms
I practice the things I want to say
Being transparent with you, being vulnerable.
I have endless "what ifs"
Such as "what if we don't last" "what if we hurt one another"
But that is all tucked away into this little corner in the back of my mind
I think about how much I miss you
How much I hate being far away from you
I ask myself why do I have a lot of questions.
But most importantly,
I ask myself.. why am I constantly thinking about the past and the future,
But never the present?