I started the year
with a few bad habits
a few cheap tricks
majorly loose lips
and far too many scars
with numbers increasing

one for him
one for her
and a thousand for mother.
even the stain on the shower curtain has one.

now
a few months in
I've changed my ways.
years or "no"'s
and "I don't see the point"'s
days of leaving early
and weeks of not seeing
the best person
I've ever met
now
instead of bleeding the pain
I inhale it.

I inhale the hurt
but exhale it before it can leave a lasting imprint.

now
I have times of "yes"'s
and "That's all I want"'s
days of staying too late
and weeks of walking home
with the best person I've ever met.
now
my inner scars may be multiplying
but the ones that are visible
they will fade