sometimes i miss you
i miss the way you’d sweep me off my feet
fill me with bubbly sensations
of false joy and freedom
make the darkness go away
and rid me of the pain that
consumed every inch of my being

i miss how it felt
when we were together
you were my partner in crime
you made me feel infinite
as if i could escape my body
and astral travel to a place
far away from here

i miss the way
you brought me comfort
when i needed it most
sometimes when the pain was
far too much to bear
you made me feel
completely and utterly numb
so i wouldn’t have to feel anything at all

i trusted you
i leaned on you for support
when i was broken and
nothing else seemed to work
as long as you were feeding me
i knew i’d be okay

but little did i know
you were leading me down a dark path
of more sickness and pain
our relationship was a toxic one
i lost myself in you
and i realized that in the end
you never truly wanted the best for me

so for two years
i starved our connection
i went into the wilderness
to find myself again
i put my broken pieces back together
i re-connected with
healthier ways of being

i appreciated how you helped me
through all those years
maybe you were what i needed to survive
during those dark and painful times
but you were never supposed to stay long

so this is my farewell for now
maybe we’ll meet again someday
but i’ll be more prepared then
to greet you kindly
and acknowledge your presence
yet stay strong enough
to not get carried away again