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Apr 2020
i couldn't be... more... possibly: well... not possibly more...
aloof...
   yes... that's a crumpet of a word...
a scone...
        something levereging me to circumstance
myself with: delight: in that it is delightful - it's brimming
with delight...
it's what i want to eat: and by eat: what i can feel...
my... what can i counter eating and feeling with?
perhaps this... taking to thinking is a bit like taking a ****...
perhaps... just perhaps:
i am merely constipated... or rather...
               claustrophobic...
                  or perhaps! i have become exhausted
from taking three attempts at sitting on the throne
of thrones...
strip me down to the basics and all i have left
is a playground of language:
and the omni- prefix litany of a god that's
bound to no polytheistic drama of engaging
man... in that... geometrical throne room...
in that cosmological: in that phe... phenomenoligcal
"argument"...
what a boring god! this god!
             a fixation on keeping something so well
contained: and neatly: impossible!
what a boring god of gods... yawn...
no drama: no soap opera...
ah! one sure sign that i am not a native:
yet speaking and writing and scribbling like
a chicken scratching on a page...
   where was i when t.v. soap opera happened?
where was i... when... reality tv happened "across
the pond"?
                   astounding! before the establishment
came around to pick up pieces of one Dane...
and... existentialism was called: phenomenology...
cactii words... prickly and hardly anything
worth considering as concise as a well lubricated
pill...
   of a paracetamol or a vitamin C...
           well... if i read too much into Shakespeare...
here's a sonnet - no... the expectation is too great!
Hitchens: a contemporary... a man has died...
Dickens? beyond the century and more...
a man: had lived...
       for sake of clarification:
              a life for the sake of the argument...
  or... a life... for the sake of a narrative...
                           if this was all sorted into a paragraph...
it would hardly be called: an imitation
of painting... is there such a "thing" concerning
a Kandinsky-signature?
           beside the point...
i have to air my allowance for frivolity!
      all day today all i had to do was appreciate
the afternoon sun and bask in in...
pretend to be a goldfish... and look for the downer...
a crow perched on a detail: croaking...
and yes... the epitome of happiness -
a sparrow throng... would i dare to care that i didn't
find it?
          o these most insincere details...
bland conversations over... details of superfluity:
that very english: over-stated, cosmopolitan:
so sorry... so sorry... moving on...
i want this toy this sandpit and this
muffin of well adjusted sand for a bucket & *****
party...
should cinnamon: should enough cinnamon
and cumin and coriander... and paprika...
all arrive on time to replace the already stated
need to make architectural grand feats using sand!

with such a day as i've had...
i would be pretty much content with...
a lullaby of whiskey and a welcoming pillow
to come... and sleep...

if i only have had the half of the fullness
of bother surrounding me: shackling me...
dragging me down to no-known depth of a pit...
a circus of words! a play with them!

but as every unwelcome interlude...
if only solving a crossword puzzle was not such
a solipsistic event...
       if there was a dear grandmother: gorgon
by her son-in-law thus stated...
that man is to... exit the abode of a mother
and a father... joke is: children are all that is to come...
except... for the ***-note of "moving forward"...
the mother the vermin the father the vermin...
when one has to rejoice! rejoice! oh most splendid!
in... taking account of a mother-in-law!
woe woe: woo         this "future" man...

reality chequers... and half-wit of chess...
mid-way through a sudoku puzzle no. 11,484...
prior to i was thinking:
what if the letters were to replaced
with greek letters... better still...
let's extend the strict geometry... let's play tennis:
a game of 7 rectangles and the odd two or three
squares: notably within the confines
of I, V and X...

and here the talk of internet soap opera...
drama...

if it were a rose i'd wish to pluck: i'd pluck a rose...
if i were a butcher dealing with a slab of
pork... and if i were about to fillet a corpus of
salmon... i'd do all that and all the details
feigned "missing" / deemed...

    invaderVie...
                         and... what the bulgarian prostitutes
do is... reverse stealing kisses...
and charging a top-up fee to taste the ****-courosel
for an extra tenner...
a brothel that stinks like bourbon turned into
a perfume?                      premature *******...
i'm hardly any better... better at what...
"manning up"... or just... the whiskey has to be
most certainly drank... and prior to: bought...

and none of the money can go into...
jeremy cricket farming for either conscience or...
leprecauns, lepers or... locust...
                    
                     the original... of course...
         in the digital application... algebra...
a pure affair of letters...
          "too much algebra: not enough
arithmetic"!

VII    X    X    X    X    X    X    X    X
X    X    X    X    VII    X    X    X    X
X    X    X    X    X    X    X    X    VII
X    VII    X    X    X    X    X    X    X
X    X    X    X    X    X    VII    X    X              (7)
X    X    X    VII    X    X    X    X    X
X    X    X    X    X    X    X    VII    X
X    X    VII    X    X    X    X    X    X
X    X    X    X    X    VII    X    X    X

VII    VIII    X    X    X    X    X    X    X
X    X    X    X    VII    VIII    X    X    X
X    X    X    X    X    X    X    VIII    VII
X    VII    X    X    X    X    X    X    VIII
VIII    X    X    X    X    X    VII    X    X              (8)
X    X    X    VII    VIII    X    X    X    X
X    X    X    X    X    X    VIII    VII    X
X    X    VII    VIII    X    X    X    X    X
X    X    VIII    X    X    VII    X    X    X

VII    VIII    IX    X    X    X    X    X    X
X    X    X    X    VII    VIII    IX    X    X
X    X    X    IX    X    X    X    VIII    VII
IX    VII    X    X    X    X    X    X    VIII
VIII    X    X    X    X    IX    VII    X    X              (9)
X    X    X    VII    VIII    X    X    IX    X
X    X    X    X    IX    X    VIII    VII    X
X    X    VII    VIII    X    X    X    X    IX
X    IX    VIII    X    X    VII    X    X    X

VII    VIII    IX    X    VI    X    X    X    X
X    X    X    X    VII    VIII    IX    X    VI
VI     X    X    IX    X    X    X    VIII    VII
IX    VII    X    X    X    VI     X    X    VIII
VIII    X    X    X    X    IX    VII    VI     X              (6)
X    VI     X    VII    VIII    X    X    IX    X
X    X    VI    X    IX    X    VIII    VII    X
X    X    VII    VIII    X    X    VI    X    IX
X    IX    VIII    VI    X    VII    X    X    X

and as such... yes... i am convinced that man...
has... a fixed: anatomy of morals...
is free will an argument for: a transcendence
beyond / within the obligatory
confines of: yes / no... elevated toward:
either / or...     i sometimes... do wonder...
but... seeing a sudoku using roman
numerals... mandarin?
hardly a chance to freely mingle...
letters to... discover new ground...
with letters: not with numbers:
the calcalus...
as such: letters as merely: theory put into
practice... tested... spatial / temporal
orientation: proof...
the stuff of letters... they are... still... letters...
pi et al. aren't they?

   otherwise, yes... the joys of the abacus...

VII    VIII    IX    X    VI    V    X    X    X
X    X    X    X    VII    VIII    IX    V    VI
VI     X    V    IX    X    X    X    VIII    VII
IX    VII    X    X    V    VI     X    X    VIII
VIII    V    X    X    X    IX    VII    VI     X              (5)
X    VI     X    VII    VIII    X    X    IX    V
X    X    VI    V    IX    X    VIII    VII    X
V    X    VII    VIII    X    X    VI    X    IX
X    IX    VIII    VI    X    VII    V    X    X

would it be enough to see the flavian amphitheatre...
see it: when letters were also numbers...
just a little cockroach of detail...
a sudoku... within the confines of the roman
numerals... less abstracted than...
chinese ideograms...
what, idea?! count! count! count!
or rather... entertain abstracting geometry...

VII    VIII    IX    X    VI    V    X    X    IV
X    IV    X    X    VII    VIII    IX    V    VI
VI     X    V    IX    IV    X    X    VIII    VII
IX    VII    X    IV    V    VI     X    X    VIII
VIII    V    IV    X    X    IX    VII    VI     X              (4)
X    VI     X    VII    VIII    X    IV    IX    V
X    X    VI    V    IX    IV    VIII    VII    X
V    X    VII    VIII    X    X    VI    IV    IX
IV    IX    VIII    VI    X    VII    V    X    X

VII    VIII    IX    X    VI    V    X    III    IV
X    IV    III    X    VII    VIII    IX    V    VI
VI     X    V    IX    IV    III    X    VIII    VII
IX    VII    X    IV    V    VI     III    X    VIII
VIII    V    IV    III    X    IX    VII    VI     X              (3)
III    VI     X    VII    VIII    X    IV    IX    V
X    X    VI    V    IX    IV    VIII    VII    III
V    III    VII    VIII    X    X    VI    IV    IX
IV    IX    VIII    VI    III    VII    V    X    X

VII    VIII    IX    II    VI    V    X    III    IV
II    IV    III    X    VII    VIII    IX    V    VI
VI     X    V    IX    IV    III    II    VIII    VII
IX    VII    X    IV    V    VI     III    II    VIII
VIII    V    IV    III    II    IX    VII    VI     X              (2)
III    VI     II    VII    VIII    X    IV    IX    V
X    II    VI    V    IX    IV    VIII    VII    III
V    III    VII    VIII    X    II    VI    IV    IX
IV    IX    VIII    VI    III    VII    V    X    II

and of course... X disappears into I...
because... "0" is still a "mystery"...

VII    VIII    IX    II    VI    V    I    III    IV
II    IV    III    I    VII    VIII    IX    V    VI
VI     I    V    IX    IV    III    II    VIII    VII
IX    VII    I    IV    V    VI     III    II    VIII
VIII    V    IV    III    II    IX    VII    VI     I              (1)
III    VI     II    VII    VIII    I    IV    IX    V
I    II    VI    V    IX    IV    VIII    VII    III
V    III    VII    VIII    I    II    VI    IV    IX
IV    IX    VIII    VI    III    VII    V    I    II

concerning spacing... not enough of...
"too little butter spread... over too much toast"...
that proverb: he who sleeps on
the floor has no fear of falling out of a bed:
or the honesty of rising from one...

this! or anything to lend itself
to fathom mandarin architectural concerns...
no... there's not talk
of greenwich alignment...
none of it!
    
    just so you might have asked...
        the bible doesn't belong in... Kentucky!
not with the televised preachers...
i want something of this book...
this greco-hebrew collaboration...
i'm writing in latin ditto: am i, not?
  
               i want something from this book...
i want the romance: i want...
the narrative...
         to hell with the staging of arguments!
the final chapter was written in nuance...
the greeks joined forces with the yids:
the hebs... i'm quiet late to the party...
of the late and no: western revival...
or how, yes, "how" the byzantines didn't
see the ottomans or their precursors:
the seljuks...

greek numerals.... blah!
                 i have 7 heads: here are the 7 hills...
and i'll compound them into the 7 kingdoms
of the benelux... if you... want...

if it will sound better in german:
i am here, as an arrogance...
let's see...
  ich bin hier, wie ein arroganz!
       ja! daß machen erklingen: herrlich!

yes: i am here... because someone,
   "someone" was... too busy... keeping count
of copper coinage...
and i'm tired of... this was never
a greco-hebrew conspiracy at a time when...
the greeks started to grow shrimp-*****
about... how...
           their **** and ego affairs of
"the argument" drifted into romance and nostalgia
and... whatever became of them...

i do count 7... or the hebrew cornerstone,
letter... L... lamed...
             i drink and all i want is to...
fall in love with a girl with brown eyes
and brown hair... teased with...
oak and chocolate... and sun-stroke burns...
of shy strawberry blossom...
or... that sort of kind of wording...

oh for ****'s sake! not Helga! not some
Valhalla monstrosity of butch & **** blonde
operatics!
something tame... something...
associated with native h'american Sioux...
and... a stew... carrots and: **** like that...

        besser im deutsche!
                     seit im: englisch: ist nein: genug!
Mateuš Conrad
Written by
Mateuš Conrad  36/M/Essex (England)
(36/M/Essex (England))   
264
 
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