I'm better, I tell myself
I don't cut
I've never attempted suicide
I've learnt my symptoms
I've learned how to lessen them
I know what makes me spiral downwards
I can get out of bed in the morning
I know how to work around this mentality

But sometimes I get worried
That maybe I'm fooling myself
I can feel itches under my skin
Where the marks used to be
I thought I'd be happy to see the scars fade

But sometimes I look down and see them in the mind's eye
See the blood
Feel the sick exhilaration as I think to myself
'I finally feel something!'
But I shake my head
And the thoughts are gone
No blood
Faint scars
I'm not gone