The Boy

Four years ago I kissed your eyelids

and told you that when we grew old

I would tell them to bury my dead body right next to yours

so we'd never have to sleep apart

A part of me always knew you wouldn't last that long

You reached your rough hands to the clasp of my bra

and danced naked with me in our livingroom

I met you when you thought needles were magic

and you thought God was found in a cloud of smoke

I was 17 and the curls in my hair were designed by mother

I had my "father's eyes"

and my "sister's cheekbones:

but you liked my hips and the heart shaped freckle on my lower back

the way my brow furrowed before I fell asleep

You liked the parts of me no one could whisper "were passed down through the gene pool"

You were 20, you had track marks like sleeves up your arms

and your frail frame was a byproduct of your mother's addictions

and your father's love was formed on the thick skin he made you wear

Your lips tasted like peppermint

but I loved your heart.

When we got older you got down on one knee

and promised a lifetime of yourself to me

No one understood that I would have given a lifetime of fighting for you

if it meant there was even a small chance that I could mend those wounds

Even if I had to suffer every evening tear

every glistening moonlight

that you begged for more

because even though the needle in your arm made you weak

I saw the strength you held me up with

and I saw the lips that craved for better

and I wished a lifetime of happy endings

because you'd had a lifetime of sorrows

I wanted to capture you in a musicbox

because you always made my heart sing

and there was kitestring on your finger

that you promised you'd never forget

and I thought beyond everything else someone must understand

so I wrote this poem to show the world the beauty I saw

despite the flaw

and my parents dreams for "better for me"

They didn't know the things you'd seen but they were right

I never said you were perfect

but when that hot July sun came

and you married me under that sycamore tree

and promised that you'd spend your life quitting

but never on me

So now I'm collecting red roses

for all the petals you left on my bed sheets

and I'm cleaning out the shirts in your closet

because I tried for years but you never wore them

You didn't get it

I loved you with a fire so deep in the ground

I swore I'd never let it burn out

and it hasn't

but in the end time couldn't let me keep you

Time wouldn't let you keep yourself

so now they're digging a hole in the ground

and I have to leave you there without help

because there was a boy with a needle in his arm

that couldn't face the past

and he cast a long shadow down a forever path

and even though he promised forever

he had given me the best that he had

So I kept his kitestring for another lifetime

when we get to sleep together again

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