If one heart breaks too many times, the outcome is severe,
This is my first-hand account, and why I’m standing here.
I was not protected, believed, comforted or heard
To expect I’d rally differently, or better is absurd.
Who the hell do you think you are?
Creating demons, and inflicting scars
Never showing me affection, and rarely being kind
Really does a number on a child’s simple mind.
I slid a razor over my skin, the first time when I was six
The cuts have healed just fine, mental anguish ******* sticks
The problem is, the six year old, you tortured has grown up
Turns out I can be loved Frances,
so I filled my own cup
You mean nothing to me Frances.
Ivan, **** you too!
I hope you know, in many ways,
I've killed the both of you.
Sam I ******* hate your stupid *** for what you did.
Do you feel remorseful now, or are you still ******* kids?
My wish for you… suffering, much more before your dead
If I were you, I’d **** myself, just like the voices said.
Eric you aren't worth a single word from me or a wisp of air,
You could die today in fact and nobody would care.
Ivan you’re the disappointment, you aren't even a man.
Get in my face you ******* coward and I’ll drop you where you stand.
Judge not, lest he be judged himself; old man I wouldn't dare
You should have ******* stopped him Ivan, after all, you were right there
Instead you did what you do best and hid under a hood
You probably think we'll meet in hell, but me and God are good
Keep yourselves away from me, I am better than y’all
My heads held high, were toe to toe, I’m big now and you’re small.
Those of you reading this might think I’m being mean
Trust me though when I say this you ain't seen anything
Heidi Shavill
2013