The makeup I had meticulously painted my face with a few hours before was now forgottenly smudged down my cheeks; and the hair that had been pristine now looked greasy and half-hearted, hanging down my back in matted locks. My mask was gone and I was raw. Overly exposed like a fawn. The moon was creating patterns in the water that my drunken eyes sluggishly followed as I tried to piece together my broken bits. The thoughts I’d been evading were creeping up again, no longer held off by the haze of the party. I can feel each thought I carry weighing on me heavier than mercury, pulling me down into the river. I puckered my lips, desperately pulling in the fresh smoke I’d just lit and turning my head towards the shadow that now loomed over me. It was you. You sat down next to me and I passed you the cigarette, without a word. This was me waving the white flag. The white flag that had been precariously placed around its nicotine center. The nicotine that had coated your tar black heart. I could almost taste the sour burn in the back of my throat as I watched you so intently, that I felt my eyes must be burning as brightly as the slowly dwindling **** hanging from your slightly chapped lips. But the only thing I needed to inhale to get me high was you. It was heart breaking to watch you like this. With the moon in your eyes and the smell of ***** and drugs clinging to your clothes. You were an other worldly creature. Your nimble fingers brushing your mouth as smoke seeped from between your full lips. When you looked over at me, dissecting me with your crystalline irises. I swear, the moon blushed almost as hard as I did. Bare toes curling, I gathered some courage but your gaze still made me weak, cutting through me like glass my gaze flashed between your eyes and your lips, trying to decide which was the more precious site. Right then and there, it seemed so simple with the moonlight soaking into my skin I leaned in and kissed you hard, before you had a chance to take another deep puff. My mind clouded over and all I had the desire to do was kiss until both our lips were swollen and tinted red. You pulled me closer and I could taste the mixing alcohol our tongues were creating, savouring it. I could feel your heavy heart pushing on my chest and your hot touch all over. Me, the girl stuck in a body that can’t love her. And you, the boy with the world inside his mind that spilled out every time he spoke. We’d be a mess by morning but neither of us cared. When the sun rose the love we’d felt that night wouldn’t exist. This was just our way to get by, our way to live.