I have been shutting the memories out of my head all day. My mind wants to remember more. My mind wants to force all that bad ugliness In. "I cannot just sit and think about this now I'm working!" I tell my mind. It does not listen, It forces It's way in anyways. I cannot run from It, I cannot hide from It. And I cannot function without It spilling into my brain like poison. I can tell It to go away, or come again another day. But when I shut It out I feel worse, I hurt worse. And It does not stay away for long. It always creeps back in on me, leaving me with this black cloud of pain above my head hanging there for the world to see. I wish I could release all of this hurt that is on my heart, just let It all go with one single action. Be done and move on. But it is not that simple. I do not want to remember today. I want a break. I am playing a game of tug-a-war with my brain. It's pulling the rope tighter and harder on It's end, while I lose the battle due to my weakness and crash to the earth face first. I do not want to remember today. I do not want to cry. I refuse to close my eyes; I refuse to let It control me today. I just want a break.

Please go away bad things I beg of you now.
I wish to sleep but I don't know how

I don't like these memories, or these pictures that I see
I screamed and cried but no one ever came to save me

Please go away and don't bring any more pain
GO AWAY I feel like if you don't I will go insane

I don't want to feel, or remember his touch
Run away memories, I don't want to see you, it hurts too much

Please go away, you've shown me what I never wanted to see
Slip from my mind, vanish from my thoughts, please just let me be

I don't want to remember his smile, sweat or his smell
Or the way he made that tiny baby promise not to tell

Please go away bad memories, It pains me to breath
Everything hurts, I need time to grieve

I don't like the dirtiness and the way I've carried this shame
I've spent my whole life walking this earth thinking I was to blame

Please go away bad memories, I wish that you had never come
When you grace my presence you make me feel numb

I don't like to hear the voice In my head of that child begging him to stop
Or remember as he didn't listen, threw her down, and climbed on top

Please go away bad memories you make my body remember what it once forgot
I also remember dolls, jewelry, and toys he left, making him think forgiveness he'd bought

I do not wish to see any further or to remember the blood that ran down her skin
What that father did was wrong, sick, and disgusting, It was the ultimate sin

Please go away I hate everything I see in these horrible, hurtful things
I feel like a bird lying waiting to die with its broken tattered wings

I do not wish to know what was done, be a victim, or live any longer in this past
I ache, I hurt, I scream, I cry, I beg, I see, I remember how long will this last?

Please go away all sadness you've been here far, far too long
My heart is always aching and singing its sad, sad song

I don't like these bad dreams or this life living with these fears
My heart is heavy and my body is raw, I am blinded by my tears

Please go away bad things I beg of you now
*I wish to sleep but I don't know how