How to bribe

I like the mild winter evening in Portugal
the fire is lit, and my wife is preparing something to eat
while watching a soap program on the TV.
When driving home one evening, I was stopped by a village
police officer one front light wasn’t working correctly.
I thought of offering him a bribe, but I’m not
Don Corleone, so I signed the paper the fine would come
in the post.
The officer looked disappointed-they are not paid much-
perhaps I should have offered him money,
after all, it was near Christmas.  
I told my wife about the episode; she knew who he was
said he has his ***** hairs shaved every fortnight by the lady hairdresser,
like this has got anything to do with me.