my brain cells aren't working the way they have been
i am currently 33 days sober and it's the worst best thing ever
i'm grateful i can breathe and function and sit at a humane level
but i'm not happy that the euphoric feelings completely don't exist anymore
i'm grateful for being able to see the sky every morning
but i'm not grateful to see it without the feelings of drugs being involved
i feel broken somedays
i feel sad a lot of the times
but mostly i feel numb
like nothing can actually function normally
whatever the **** that means
and so i'm really upset about the fact i can't see things the way i've considered normal